Identity Crisis
by kadair
Summary: Snow White would do just about anything for her daughter, but does that include crossing the border of Storybrooke?
1. Snow White vs Mary Margaret

**Snow White vs. Mary Margaret**

"Earth to Snow White," Red waved her hand in front of Snow's face.

"Huh?" she looked up at her friend who was sitting in the booth across the table from her. "Sorry, I'm a little distracted today."

"Is this about Emma?" Red asked. Three months and a whole lot of craziness had passed in Storybrooke since the curse had been broken. Only two nights ago, Red had hosted an intervention on her friend's behalf. Granny, Archie, and Grumpy had all tried to convince their friend to give their other friend, Emma, some space. Everyone was handling post-curse Storybrooke in their own way, which wasn't a problem until two very different people, such as Emma and Snow White, had to figure out a way to work through their mutual issues.

"I don't know why she won't talk to me," Snow said. "It so frustrating. One moment she's fine and the next moment she's shouting at me saying that I need to leave her alone. I don't get it."

"Snow," Red tried to sound sympathetic, "I can't imagine what either of you are going through, but you have to remember that Emma is grieving the loss of both her best friend and her parents."

"But I'm right here!"

Talking in the diner ceased while everyone stopped and looked over at their table.

"Nothing to see, people. Mind your own business." Red waved dismissively at them, and the other guests went back their conversations.

"I'm right here," Snow repeated now on the verge of tears.

Red took her hand. "Emma knows that, but she also knows that your relationship can never be the same. The two of you aren't just friends anymore. You're more than that, which is wonderful, but it also complicates things. As for losing her parents, well, you of all people should understand that. Don't you feel like, in some ways, you lost your daughter?"

As if on cue, Ella walked through the door with her baby girl. Snow stared at the two of them with longing. "I missed so much, Red, and I can't ever get that time back." Tears started to roll down her face.

"It's okay, Snow," Red told her. "It's going to be okay. You've been through way worse than this. And look on the bright side, at least when you woke up from the curse your daughter was alive. I woke up and had to remember..."

Snow squeezed Red's hand. "I know. I'm so sorry, Red."

"I'm going to be okay, Snow. We're all going to be okay."

"Are we?" Snow asked. "How could you possibly know that?"

"Because I know you," Red told her firmly. "I have faith that you will bug the crap out of Emma until every last wall she has comes crashing down."

Snow White laughed and said, "Glad you have faith in me."

"I do. You want to know why Emma keeps pushing you away? It's because she knows you have that ability, and it scares her."

"She has nothing to be scared of," Snow said.

Someone cleared her throat behind them. It was Emma. Snow looked at Emma and then at Red. "How long was she standing there?" she asked Red.

"Long enough," Emma answered. "Ruby, will you give us a minute?"

"Sure," Red said with a grin and slid out of the booth. "See you two later!"

"Traitor," Snow mumbled.

"Huh?" Emma asked.

"Nothing, listen, I'm sorry you had to hear all that. I just needed to talk to someone, and-"

"It's fine," Emma interrupted. "You don't need to apologize. I get that you need to talk to someone, and it's not like you can talk to me about, well, me."

_"Is she jealous of Red?"_ Snow wondered but quickly pushed the thought aside. Surely, Emma knew that if given the choice, Snow would spend every waking moment with her, not Red.

"No, it's not fine, Emma," Snow told her. "I understand why you didn't want to live together anymore, and I understand your need for space. I just don't get why we can't talk like we used to."

"You mean when you were Mary Margaret?" Emma clarified.

"Yes," Snow said. "She's still me, or I'm still her or...whatever."

Emma shook her head. "No, you're not. You have her memories, her face, and her voice, but you aren't her."

Snow swallowed hard. She didn't want to ask Emma what she was about to ask her, but she had to - for both of their sakes. "Who do you want more - your mother or your friend?"

Emma gave Snow a look and said, "That's not fair."

The small part of Snow that was still Mary Margaret told her to be patient and to let Emma come to her, but wasn't it Mary Margaret who had gotten her into this mess? Mary Margaret was the one who had spent twenty-eight years wallowing in a self-deprecating pity party while her daughter grew up alone. Mary Margaret was the one who she had to compete with every day. Snow White hated Mary Margaret.

"You want to know what's not fair?" Snow asked. She was done being patient, and she was done listening to that shell of a person who had inhabited her for so long. "I'll tell you what's not fair. Hundreds of people died the night you were born. Did you know that? They died so that your father and I would have the chance to make the hardest decision we ever had to make. Look over there," Snow pointed at Ella. "Every time I see her. Every time I see what she has, I remember how unfair life is."

"Then have a baby," Emma told her. Snow could almost hear her daughter shutting down emotionally. "No one's stopping you."

"I already have a child."

Emma slammed her hand down on the table. "I am not a child."

"Then why are you acting like one?" Snow whispered.

"Her," Emma said.

"What?"

"I want her, not you. There! Are you happy now?" Emma looked shocked by her own confession.

"Fine," Snow grabbed Emma's keys from the table, "you can have her."

"What are you doing?" Emma asked. "You don't even know how to drive."

Snow was almost out the door when she said, "I'll figure it out. Mary Margaret was the one afraid of new things, not me."

"Where are you going to go?" she called out to Snow and then mumbled to herself. "It's not like she can leave Storybrooke...Oh, shit!"

Emma bolted from the table. "Ruby! I need the keys to your car right now!"

Ruby rushed out of the kitchen. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"It's Mary Margaret - I mean Snow. I think she's about to do something crazy."

"What?"

"I think she's going to try to cross the border."

"But Snow knows that if she does -" Red's eyes grew wide in fear.

"She'll turn back into Mary Margaret for good," Emma finished. "You know her better than I do. Would Snow do something this rash just to prove a point?"

"No," Red told her, "not to prove a point, but she might do it for another reason."

"What reason?"

"To avoid pain, to be noble, to help someone she loves...She drank Rumplestiltskin's potion to forget the pain of loving your father. She was willing to let the huntsman rip out her heart so that the kingdom would have peace. She took a bite out of that stupid apple on the off chance that her step-mother would let her true love live. 'Rash' doesn't even begin to describe how far she would go for a person...especially you."

"Oh hell," Emma said. "She's going to do it. I have to stop her!"

Red dug her keys out of her pocket and handed them to Emma. "Here," she said, "you can take my car, but I'm coming with you."

"Agreed," Emma said, and the two women raced out of the diner. Emma prayed she wouldn't be too late.

_"You stupid, stubborn woman,"_ Emma shouted in her mind, though she wasn't sure who she was referring to - Snow White or herself.


	2. Borderline

"Which way do think she went?" Red asked Emma. Emma looked from her left to her right. There was no sign of her yellow bug or anyone who could tell them which way she went.

_"Focus,"_ Emma told herself. _"You need to stop panicking and think."_

"I parked facing that way," Emma said. "So, logically, that's the way she went."

"Works for me," Red said, and the two women jumped in the car.

Emma peeled out of Granny's Diner and floored the accelerator of Red's old car. Neither woman said a word until the scenery changed from shops to houses and then from houses to trees. Thankfully she was the sheriff. She wasn't about to give herself a ticket for going eighty in a thirty mile and hour zone.

"This is all my fault, Ruby."

"What makes you say that?"

Tears stung Emma's eyes when she remembered what she'd told Snow. "She asked me who I wished she was - Snow White or Mary Margaret."

"That's not fair," Red interrupted.

"That's what I said, and then she said some other things that boiled down to I didn't appreciate anything anyone had done for me. Then I lost my temper and..."

Red let out a deep breath and finished what Emma couldn't bring herself to say aloud. "You told her you wished she was Mary Margaret."

"Basically, yeah."

"Emma," Red put her hand on her arm, "you can't blame yourself for Snow's choices."

"Yes, I can," Emma said. "I didn't mean what I said. I would never want her to be cursed just so that I didn't have to deal with her."

"You don't wish sometimes that would act a little more like Mary Margaret?"

Emma didn't have a chance to answer her question. She saw her car up ahead. It was stopped on the borderline.

"Did she..." Red couldn't bring herself to ask the question.

"I can't tell," Emma said and then pulled the car over. "Stay here, Ruby. We don't need you accidentally forgetting who you are too."

Emma's heart pounded in her chest as she slowly walked up to her car.

_"Please, please, please,"_ Emma thought over and over until she reached the driver's side.

No one was in the car.

"Emma?" Snow White asked.

Emma spun around and let out a deep breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in. She was on the Storybrooke side of the road. She hadn't crossed the border. Emma ran up to Snow and hugged her.

"I am so sorry," Emma told her. "I never want you to stop being you, okay? Please, no matter what happens between us, remember that." Emma pulled away and looked at her mother. "I want you."

"Thank you," Snow told her.

"Don't you dare scare me like that again."

"Like what? Emma, what are we doing here? Is Henry okay? I was so worried when all of those monitors went off at the hospital."

She wasn't making any sense.

"Henry?" Emma asked. "He's fine. I think he's fishing with James."

"James?"

Emma froze and then slowly asked, "Who are you?"

Her mother looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Your roommate."

"You moved out a month ago," Emma said and backed away in disbelief. "No, no, this can't be happening."

"Huh?" Snow put her hand on Emma's forehead. "Emma, are you okay?"

Emma heard Red get out of the car.

"Emma," Red said, "is she...you know, herself?"

Tears filled Emma's eyes. "No, Ruby, we're too late."

"Emma?" Mary Margaret put her hands on Emma's shoulders to keep her from backing away any further. Emma flinched. "Emma, what's wrong? Ruby, what's going on?"

Emma quickly walked away from both of them, got into her car, and broke down sobbing.

"No!" she screamed and hit the steering wheel. She would never forgive herself for this. She would never forgive Snow for this. "How could you leave me again?"

Red knocked on the back windshield glass. She was careful not to get too close to the border. Emma looked in her rearview mirror and saw that she was motioning for her to back up.

"Go away!" Emma yelled and pulled forward.

The ever resourceful Red Riding Hood started throwing small rocks at her car.

"Emma Swan, I know you can hear me! You can feel sorry for yourself later, but right now you need to deal with this."

Emma threw her car into reverse and headed straight for Red. Red jumped out of the way. Seeing her eyes grow wide in shock as the yellow bug careened toward her did a little to make up for the fact that Emma knew she was right. She rolled down the window.

"What?" she said.

"Not cool, Emma," Red told her.

"I wouldn't actually hit you," Emma told her.

"Well, that's a relief because I'm pretty sure Granny would have your head."

Mary Margaret walked up and put her head in the window next to Red's.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" she asked them.

Emma let out a deep breath and stared at the ceiling of her car. Maybe it was all a bad dream. She would wake up in the apartment she shared with Henry, and she would call Snow and tell her how sorry she was for pushing her away.

"Ruby," Mary Margaret whispered, "what's going on?"

"Well," Red said, "Emma is having some sort of emotion or mental breakdown because the other version of you just did something incredibly stupid. Oh, and my name is Red Riding Hood. Nice to officially meet you."

"Is this some kind of joke?" Mary Margaret asked. "Because it's really not funny."

"Ugh," Emma said and hit her head repeatedly on the steering wheel. "James is going to kill me."

"Who is this James person you keep talking about?"

"Your husband, my father, Henry's grandfather, Prince Charming, David Nolan, my executioner. Take your pick," Emma said.

"You two are talking about Henry's curse theory, aren't you?"

"Except the only person who thinks it's a theory is you," Red said.

"Any why am I the only person?" Mary Margaret asked.

"Because you crossed the border out of Storybrooke even though you knew better," Red told her.

"Then why did I do it?"

"Because of me!" Emma shouted and then started to cry again.


End file.
